Good Ways to Lie to Your Boss

We behave differently around individuals of higher status and power than ourselves. Without realizing it, we observe them more intently, display exaggerated interest in all they say, suspend judgments about them, nod agreement to their opinions, mimic their body postures and laugh at their worst jokes. We do all of this automatically because we feel intimidated or pressured to try to please these powerful people. And in the workplace, our illogical (and sometimes embarrassing) displays of deference are most exaggerated when the powerful person in question is our boss. Now, I�m a proponent of candor. I much prefer (and advise) honest and transparent communication in all professional relationships � a principle with which I�m sure all would agree. Except when the boss suddenly appears and you feel yourself slipping helplessly backwards into psychological bunker mode. At that point I advise lying. Not bad lying, though, good lying. Because there is a critical difference: Bad lies are meant to deceive: to dodge responsibility, to gain unfair or unmerited advantage over colleagues, to shift the blame for mistakes onto others, to cover dishonest or unprofessional behavior. Bad lies are destructive � to bosses who don�t spot them, to teammates who suffer the consequences, and to the overall goals of the organization. Good lies, on the other hand, are meant to outfox that bunker mentality so you can �be yourself� with the boss when all instincts are telling you to hide behind the water cooler; let you display your genuine competence and professionalism despite the unconscious signals that your boss may well mistake for lack of initiative and self-esteem. Good lies can be good for your career � and using them well springs directly from good body language skills. Here are 10 ways to lie to your boss � to project confidence and credibility when you might actually feel intimidated, shy, or uncertain: 1. Examine your body language through your boss�s eyes. The impact of your nonverbal signals lies less in what you really mean by them, and more in what your boss believes you mean. For example, the fact that you cross your arms while speaking may mean that you are more comfortable that way (or that you are cold or you�re concentrating), but that doesn�t really matter. What does matter is understanding that most bosses will interpret your crossed arms as a sign of insecurity, resistance, or even deceit. Conversely, if you hold your arms at waist level, and gesture within that plane, most bosses will be perceive you as assured and credible. 2. Become a Method actor. Trying to display confidence when you�re actually feeling tentative, or trying to be perceived as upbeat and positive when (for any reason) you are feeling the opposite, is a tricky thing to pull off. But here�s a technique (adopted from Constantin Stanislavsky�s Method acting), which draws on real but past emotions: Think of an occasion where you were wholly enthused and absolutely certain about a course of action. (This doesn�t have to be taken from your professional life. What�s important is identifying the right set of emotions.) Then picture that past event clearly in your mind. Recall the feeling of certainty, of clarity of purpose � and remember or imagine how you looked and sounded as you embodied that state of mind. Recalling that genuine emotion will help you embody it as you interact with your boss. 3. Prepare for action using a power pose. Research at Harvard and Columbia Business Schools shows that simply holding your body in expansive, �high-power� poses (leaning back with hands behind the head and feet up on a desk, or standing with legs and arms stretched wide open) for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone � the hormone linked to power and dominance � and lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. Try this before your next meeting with the boss. In addition to causing hormonal shifts in both males and females, these poses lead to increased feelings of power and a higher tolerance for risk. The study also corroborated my observation that people are more often influenced by how they feel about you than by what you�re saying. (There�s a good article on power poses in Fast Company.) 4. Maintain steady eye contact. You may be an introvert, you may be shy, or your cultural background may have taught you that extended eye contact with a superior is not appropriate, but bosses from the U.S., Europe, and Australia (plus several other parts of the world), will expect you to maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time. When you don�t � if you continually look down (which is a signal of submission) or let your eyes dart around the room � you will nonverbally indicate that you don�t want to be there, that you aren�t really committed to your message, or that you have something to hide. (Tip: To improve your eye contact, make a practice of noticing the eye color of everyone you meet.)