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A charlatan, also called swindler or mountebank, is a person practicing quackery or some similar confidence trick in order to obtain money, fame or other advantage via some form of pretence or deception. If that is true then we have many, many charlatans in this country and we need to uncoil ourselves from the grips of these criminals now that we have entered a new year. If we fail to expose them and allow them to continue deceiving the people, generations yet unborn will say, �We were born too late to stop the mess.� Christian Charlatan �Men Of God� This group of charlatans is leading the pack of criminals. They have very scant knowledge of the Bible and use the little they know to deceive their congregants. They quote verses which suit their missions to deceive poor souls who troop to their churches to seek prosperity, marriages, visas, jobs or exorcism from perceived evil spirits. They profess to have cure to any disease that you can mention. Their churches are patronised by mostly women, and the few men who join them do so for reasons apart from salvation. These charlatans do not preach salvation; they preach prosperity. You watch them performing their so-called �miracles� on television screens and your soul, heart and body cry for the Lord to come early to save mankind from these pretenders. Some of them start by attending some mushroom Bible colleges to acquire education and graduate with the qualification of Reverend and start wearing collars to differentiate themselves from those of us who never attended such mushroom Bible colleges. Their next move is to acquire a few musical instruments and a classroom where they begin to perform their �miracles�. Some of them start as bachelors who live alone in single rooms; and as the church starts to grow, they search through their predominantly female congregation to find a wife. Because women in such churches feel proud to be called �Osofo Maame�, it doesn�t take long before they get one. The �Osofo Maame� becomes very important in the life of this charlatan because she will eventually be the person to recruit more women to join the church. The �Osofo Maame� makes sure her dress comportment is not questionable. Even as a newlywed, she takes control of marriage counselling in the church and always looks celestial in the face of the women in the church. Because women in the church make sure she has food in her home, she eats so well that within a short time she grows opulent and fine. The charlatan must always dress well in custom-made clothes because he wants the congregation to know that he has been blessed and that they too can be blessed if they listen and adhere to what he tells them. In no time he starts bleaching, visits hair salons to dye his hair and begins to look like a casanova playboy. The charlatan begins to acquire degrees without attending any university. In no time he is called �Dr�, �Overseer�, �Reverend�, �Bishop� etc and starts dressing like the Pope during church services. In order not to be outclassed by his fellow charlatans, the �man of God� acquires a luxurious car and changes clothes like the chameleon changes its colours. At this point he has entered the �Hall of Fame� and begins to dine with the rich. Then he expands his tentacles by producing �anointing oil� made from Dinor, frytole or shea butter. He will tell the congregation that the �anointing oil� can cure any disease and even drive away the devil. If you want to travel abroad and need a visa, the �man of God� will tell you to smear the �anointing oil� on your face before going for the interview and that immediately the interviewer sees your face, he or she will quickly give you a visa. When you attend such an interview and you are refused the visa, the �man of God� will tell you that you did not follow the instruction he gave and that there is the need to acquire new �anointing oil�. By the time you realise that you have been swindled, you will not even have money to take �trotro� to church again. As for women who need husbands, the �man of God� will tell them to use the �anointing oil� as perfume and that any man who will inhale the smell of the �anointing oil� will approach them and seek their hand in marriage. What is more worrisome is the precious time lost during their church services. Women who are supposed to work to support their husbands spend the whole week attending prayer sessions, counselling, �all nights� and top these up with fasting. They are brainwashed to the extent that they blame Satan for everything that happens to them. Muslim Charlatans Called Mallams Mallam is a Hausa term derived from the Arabic word �Maullim�, which means �teacher�. It is formally used for a man versed in the Arabic language and Islamic sciences. We used to see our Mallams in the Zongos in Ghana teaching the Qur�an in Makaranta schools. Some of them were good at using herbs to cure various diseases and they were loved and respected by the people of the Zongos. Students who came under the tutelage of these Mallams were highly respectful and disciplined. In fact, we had some wayward Mallams who duped unsuspecting people who came to them for religious guidance but they were not as many as we are seeing today. Today Mallams are sprouting like poisonous mushrooms in cow dung across the length and breadth of Ghana. Wherever one goes one is bound to see large billboards with inscriptions like �Mallam Thousand Dwarfs�, �Malam 99 Bullets� or �Malam Quick Cash� among others. They also profess to have cure for any diseases one can think of. They will tell you to bring all the money you have and that they can double the money for you. Like their charlatan Christian counterparts, they will tell you they can help you acquire a visa to travel to any country of your choice. Even politicians, who are supposed to know better, fall prey to these evil-minded criminals. When Mr Rawlings took on �Bishop� Obinim and Kumchacha at the latter part of last year, I was expecting the good people of this country to stand up to be counted as far as the evil deeds of these crooks are concerned. As for the politicians, I did not expect any of them to say anything because they know these crooks control large crowds; and as politicians, they will not like to incur the displeasure of these guys simply because they need votes on election days. But if our respected chiefs, statesmen and women, businessmen and women, trade unionists, etc add their voices at least the canker will reduce. Good Lord, I have started the year on a bad note. I can�t get money to buy my favourite cigar and as such I am going back to my roots. It�s time to puff Taa Bonto. Times are hard ooh, my brother!