The origin of valentine is shrouded in mystery but most people are celebrating it. Valentine is very popular, second only to Christmas. All over the world, millions of cards, messages and gifts will be exchanged. However in Ghana the hype appears to be going down. The shops appear empty and so is the rush to buy toys, chocolate, cards and other gift items. Valentine appears to be dying.
Why valentine is falling Money is one big reason. With ‘dumsor’, low productivity and rising cost of living, many are cutting down non-essentials to keep their heads above water.
They send text messages instead of cards. Many prefer to spend it quietly at home and share special moments with their lovers.
Today no festival is abused more than Valentine because many have poor understanding of love. Many have the myth that sex is the surest expression of love.
We hear of free sex on Valentine Day and this includes children in the primary schools.
On Valentine Day ‘hook up ‘is common. This is sexual activity between partners who hardly know each other and expect nothing from each other a day after.
Many young people get trapped into promiscuity, which gives rise to abortion, unwanted pregnancies and HIV infections. Some have ruined their future with a few moments of fun
Some celebrate the day with substance abuse, indecent dressing and profane songs. They lose their inhibitions and flout authority.
Today Ghana is said to be second in substance abuse among the youth in Africa.
Some partners make unrealistic demands as proof of love. Many girls and women expect expensive gifts like latest mobile phones, dresses and even cars.
Many have stopped celebrating valentine in protest against the abuses during the celebration.
What to do • Start with yourself. Valentine is about love. You must love yourself before you can love others or others can love you. Look at the positive side of your life and be content with how far your Maker has brought you.
Dress good, possibly in red to signify you are prepared to make sacrifices that bring development to yourself and others.
Always remember you do not have to be married or in a relationship to celebrate Valentine Day.
• Be kind. Words have tremendous power on you and your relationship. Send words of affirmation, appreciation and gratitude to thank your lover for everything, no matter how small they may be. Send gifts you can afford because gifts are the commonest expression of love.
Your kindness makes your lover feel loved, cherished and wanted. He or she is then motivated to do more for you. Anything you do to make your lover happy is a gift but the best gift is your commitment to do all you can to nurture your relationship.
• Make that move. If you are single this is an opportune time to propose to someone you love. If you have a ‘POP’ mouth, send a card which expresses exactly what is on your mind. If you are a woman, be bold and take your chance. It is better to try and fail than to live in regret.
If you are married, rededicate yourself to building a strong and happy family. With commitment, hard work, effective communication and prayer you can always put life into your marriage. If it takes only one partner to make your marriage work let it be you.
• Forgive unconditionally. Accept that conflicts are part of all relationships and that no matter how much you love each other, you will fight. Do not worry about how often you fight or what you fight over.
Only commit yourself to forgive unconditionally and deep from your heart. Whenever you forgive, you heal yourself and receive your Maker’s blessing.
Do we still need valentine? Valentine is a celebration of love which makes us human because our Maker, who is love, made us in His image. Without love we will be inhuman; incapable of showing and receiving love. Love then is the substance of our being and development.
We still need Valentine because we have to celebrate our humanity. Anything not celebrated exits our life. On the other hand, when we continue celebrating Valentine, we remind ourselves of our Maker’s gift of life and our responsibility to be each other’s keeper.
Valentine , therefore, must, not die. We must join the celebration but remind ourselves that anything that does not uphold human dignity is not valentine.
Let your words and actions be godly.
Happy valentine.
The writer is the Director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon.
He is also the author of ‘Your Guide to Marriage, Love Unlimited and The Journey of Love’
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