I get rather melancholy every March. It is Heritage Month and I seek for many answers to the myriad thoughts and consults I have pondered since the beginning of the year. Following on the heels of a New Year resolution and many problems of financing Xmas and New Year, I kind of get an upbeat feeling just thinking about how much I can achieve before the year comes to an end.
But already February has ended and I am wondering what I did these past two months?
So I play my two most inspirational heritage songs and plan for the best. Painful that my friend and bosom creative confidant, Amandzeba Nat Brew has detached somewhat and left a vacuum in my artistic offering, I still search for some inspiration from his wonderfully crafted “Wogbe”, a song that has inspired many a historical moment.
Then I latch on to Osibisa’s “Woyaya” and remember how we gave Kutu Acheampong such a hard time as students, belting out the chorus with thrilling meaning, confident that one day “we will get there; heaven knows how we will get there; we know we will.”
Now we have a “Yam” and we are deprived of basic light and water, not to mention the environmental filth we have to live with and a dithering, directionless government whose president says to be cynical is a bad show of allegiance.
Well, for another year in so many, I am looking at the state of my nation and I see it rather differently from what I heard on Thursday from the President.
“Fellow Ghanaians, once again I come to tell you what you have already assessed of my Government. I see this annual ritual, even though a constitutional obligation as a key deliverable for me to share with you how I see the state of our country given in my custody to manage and improve from one year to the next.
I have failed abysmally on the energy matter. I have tried to understand it, but alas, I am helpless, surrounded by ministers who keep telling me something different every month. Three years ago they told me “dumsor” would end in 2013. After I debated other presidents and won, they changed the story and told me the “act of God” was just a figure of speech. Now everyone is calling me a liar, yet I keep listening to them; every time they tell me something new. As it is now, I don’t have a clue, so what can I do? I come out and pass on the lies.
But education will be great this year. I told you the same thing last year and as you thought I had stolen the idea from my rivals, I am repeating it here so we can start all over. I expect you will take up these initiatives as I announce them, and when you don’t, it makes me wonder whether we are on the same page.
This time we will give more computers, more uniforms, more textbooks, more food and more tampax. All this will improve the quality of education and make Ghana a better destination for our ECOWAS friends.
As for industry and manufacturing, well I left that to the Association of Ghana Industries and they did nothing except blame me for bad economic conditions. They don’t understand that if you don’t open your eyes you will never see opportunity.
I travel every two months and bring juicy contracts from Brazil, China, Turkey and Dubai and they still do not follow my steps. Both Zoom Lion and AGAMS, two beneficiaries of Ghana’s “GYEEDA” programme, are now in neighboring countries, replicating their success there, showcasing what we do best in Ghana and taking advantage of my term as ECOWAS champion.
But tomorrow you will hear about the IMF deal. I personally engaged with the IMF, using Dr. Kwesi Botchway instead of Finance Minister Seth Terkper. It was tactical and worked very well. You were all confused and did not see it coming, but the IMF do not believe Seth’s numbers anymore and so fronting with Kwesi B, made it easier to excuse the inaccurate numbers we publish every year.
And as a result, we have $940million to spend. Forget that you are all aware that the most critical matter in our face is the energy matter, forget that the IMF themselves appreciate that we cannot afford to carry on without resolving the “dumsor”, forget that we have to immediately buy short term energy and lift economic activity; we managed to refocus the IMF to fund inflation, the depreciating cedi, macroeconomic stability and general economic stability, all of which will inure to our benefit by 2018, when I know you will be happy to see me here still at the helm of affairs.
Ignore the NPP and their so-called “wongbo” demo in Accra and “yabre” Kumasi. I told them “yen tie obiaa.” Instead of them telling me how to fix the problems, they are sticking to their unpatriotic bent and keeping useful ideas away. They think they are doing me bad, but it is you, the people of Ghana they are hurting.
At this stage, I have spiraled down to my level of incompetence and instead of them adding value to the system and showing me how to manage this economy better, like they did when they were in power, they are keeping economic secrets and punishing you, the people of Ghana.
Then the critics on radio, TV, print, online. You know how I like to spend time on Facebook. Asantehene is still not updating his page and now others in my cabinet are following his unruly behaviour. I am not so old to give up on the social media thing; where else can I meet and see such wonderful Ghanaian people?
As for the macro-economic indicators, well you can see for yourself how the international forces have conspired to derail everything I have tried to do. I suspect very strongly the opposition has played a big hand in the cocoa and gold pricing and I have instructed National Security to look into all the possible angles.
Law and order are fully in play as you can see. I am prosecuting a few people with the help of those too known, but useful OccupyGhana people. On my behalf they have put the Auditor General on notice and I understand they have a few more cases on the way. So long as they do not touch my presidential advisors, I am ok.
Now that I have moved Dotse Malor, Atuguba and Bani, they think we are friends. I am on their case and will ensure they don’t disturb Lorretta Lamptey any further.
I promise you I will protect my staffers and advisors passionately, making it very important to keep them safe in the bosom of Flagstaff House to ensure we have stability and continuity of “pro-poor-corruption” programmes.
And finally on football. The Black Stars did well to reach the final in AFCON 2015. The incident in Equatorial Guinea was unfortunate for the continent as a whole, but we made the finals.
However, we lost and we have lost too many times in the final stages, penalty shoot-outs have become our bane and we have missed gold too many times.
Second place is not what where we should be. Ghana is a nation of footballers and we have good international players. The local league has generated Essiens, Abedi Peles, Asamoah Gyans, Waris’, Akaminkos, and many more. The West has found it rich to mine our talent.
We must start winning more and lifting more trophies. If I here in 2016, I would like to tell a different story and raise a cup or two as testimony to our success.
But I cannot accept all responsibility. My Finance Minister has misdirected the cash we could have used for all this and it is squarely on his shoulders. I hire at will, but do not fire.
I do not promise, but look upwards, finger pointing high with hope that somewhere up beyond the skies, “Bra Atta” will throw some manna down on us.
May the good Lord watch over you all in the coming year, because I have run out of options and ideas.”
Ghana, Aha a ye din papa. Alius atrox week advenio. Another terrible week to come!
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