Ghanaian men are also reluctant to marry Ghanaian women abroad even when they wine, dine, socialise and even romance together.
The men fear that these women having stayed abroad have become too sophisticated and have acquired women empowerment freedom and pampered life.
The men complain their women have gone bad, that is too exposed, too experienced and independent to handle. It is common to hear that when there is an argument between a Ghanaian husband and a wife married abroad, the woman would argue that she bought her own ticket to get abroad and would therefore not allow anyone to control her.Marriage is the most important human investment and a sacred duty of Ghanaians.
Burgers see marrying from home as connecting to their roots. They also believe Ghanaians from home are innocent, unspoiled and unexposed to the wild life abroad.
The Ghanaian woman, having gone through economic hardship at home and seeing ‘abrokyire’ (abroad) as a status symbol will jump at the chance and also show gratitude to her benefactor and look up to him. This enhances a man’s ego as she will treat her husband as a king. She will understand why a husband can leave home and come back as he pleases.
She will show greater respect and submission. She will understand why you have to send hard-earned money home regularly to a nephew who refuses to work. She will teach your children Ghanaian culture and tradition and encourage you to invest at home towards eventual return.
Unlike their counterparts abroad, the Ghanaian prospective wife doesn’t know the social ladder of her prospective husband.
Disadvantages of ‘Burgers’ marrying from home
Many such marriages are not based on love or affection. The woman wants to escape the harsh conditions at home and the man wants company, a helper and social status. Soon both realise what they never bargained for. The woman finds ‘abrokyire’ (abroad) is not what she sees on TV but toil, toil and toil just to make ends meet.
She may get disappointed or depressed. The innocent woman soon becomes like those who were there before her. Her ‘eyes open’ and she demands equal rights. Conflicts are inevitable. Many greenhorn marriages are known to dissolve quickly with or without children.
Does it matter where you marry from?
It shouldn’t matter where or who one marries. A ‘burger’ marrying from home may fail or win. Taking appropriate steps to choose right is key. We must also have a clear understanding of marriage, our roles, expectations and the ability to cope with the challenges in marriage.
We go into marriage not to seek gain but to give and make our lovers better even if it needs compromising on our cultural values. We must make our marriages our most precious possessions where your heart takes you but let unconditional love be the key to a fulfilling relationship.
*The writer is the director of Eudoo Counseling Centre. West Legon. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide to Marriage’ Love Unlimited and The Journey of Love.
Source: Dr John Boakye / jydboakye.yahoo.com
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