As mentally stimulating and physically pleasing as it is to meet a beautiful woman, make her smile, warm up to her, appeal to her sensual flank and eventually take her to bed, it is called infidelity and has torn thousands of marriages and intimate relationships to shreds in the twinkle of an eye but Nigerian actor and film maker, Yomi Fash-Lanso has saved himself this headache by doing something men all over the world would consider Herculean – he chose to replicate the choice of the Biblical Joseph and by doing so, the popular actor has resisted consistent calls of temptation to break the oath of trust he exchanged with his wife 10 years as he pointed out that he has never cheated on her.
The actor, who graduated from the University of Lagos (UNILAG) affirmed this in an interview withiCampus barely 12 hours ago in Ikeja. As the actor reclined in his chair, sipped his Hennessy and nibbled on nuts, he reminded Nigerians and the rest of the world that he has been married for 10 years.
“I have been married since 2004… I saw my woman and I connected with her, and I just decided I was going to marry her, and that was it,” he enthused.
In this interview, Yomi Fash-Lanso averred has he is yet to bite the apple of infidelity as made apparent in his decision not to cheat on his wife in the last one decade.
We have extracted a piece of this interview, which borders on his relationship with his wife, his father’s wives, his take on having a second wife, his marriage and what he honestly thinks about homos*xuals and same s*x relationships that enter the realm of intimacy.
Please bear in mind that the aforementioned aspects of the interview have be extracted from the full interview, which will be served at a later date.
Did you grow up with your father and mother together?
Yes, my father and mother together.
Did your father marry more than one wife?
He married two wives
Are your in good terms with your step brothers and sisters?
Yes, we are in good terms but we don’t really talk much because of my work. But, like I said, we are in good terms.
Will you ever marry more than one wife?
I know that’s where you will come in. See, I, Yomi Fash-Lanso, believe that your destiny depends on what you make of life and not what God has destined for you. God has not destined you to be anything in life. We were born with nothing. If God has destined you to be rich, you would have come with cash or with a car. But we came to this world naked and naked we will go. I usually tell people that it is how you make your bed that you lay on it. I have seen a lot of things happening in marriages and everything goes so awfully wrong. Then I keep asking myself why this happens. Is it that they don’t understand each other? I have come to realize that one needs to be patience with his/her spouse because both of you are from different backgrounds. You can persevere and endure. Doing this, automatically you will get there.
So, what happened to my father to have made him have a second wife, I really don’t want to know. But my concern is that I don’t want to have a second wife. Come to think of it, 21 men cannot contend with one woman. She’s got psychological and emotional powers that a man doesn’t have.
How long have you been married?
I have been married since 2004
That’s a long time ago. Why did you have to get married that early?
Is that early?
When I say early, I mean you started acting in 1995, and 2004 is just nine years after you started your career. You could have still stayed to enjoy the moment, don’t you think?
What moment is there to enjoy? I believe that if you find that positive connection, don’t waste your time; just tap into it. I saw my woman and I connected with her, and I just decided I was going to marry her and that was it.
What’s the big deal about her?
Nothing much! She’s just a simple person. She is very simple. She is God-sent. It is very rare for a man to find a woman that is very understanding, determined and shares your vision, then you survive and grow together. So that’s the kind of woman God has blessed me with. Tell me why I won’t marry that kind of person? She’s not materialistic at all. Of course she’s pretty and God-fearing. If you have that kind of a woman as a wife, you don’t know what you have as a man. So I thank God for my life.
What has kept the marriage going considering that you are an actor?
My wife is the pillar while I am the provider. I can leave the house for two weeks; sometimes three weeks or even one month; moving from one location to another. She will be the only one at home with our children. I don’t know what goes on in the house while I am away, yet she makes sure everything is in order, so I will give it all to her. She is the pillar, the reason for my home today. Imagine if after one month, I come home and she attacks me with a lot of questions; especially stupid questions that would prompt a man to react negatively, automatically, that would result in a lot of harm. What would I do? But because she understands my work, she understands that her husband is out there trying to provide for the family, and she is ready to support. So, whenever I come back home, she welcomes me with open arms, and for that, I cherish her for life.
How do you cope emotionally when you are out of the house for three to four weeks? Do you have to get a woman temporarily or do you hold on till you get home?
No man is an island, and no human is a saint. I want to believe that it is what you want to do that you will do, except somebody holds a gun to your head. Before you can hold a gun to my head to act, that means I must have been caught unaware, but if you are coming directly towards me, I will run. So, it is what I want to do that I will do, and if I don’t want to do it, you can’t force me to. There is no case of how do you ‘hold body.’ If I want to do it, it is my choice. I know I have a wife at home and a responsibility to handle at home.
But they don’t have to connect with your wife ‘na’
Oh! Don’t say that. You don’t know where this woman is woman is coming from. You don’t know who her friends are. It’s a long chain.
Okay, let me ask you a point-blank question. How many times have you cheated on your wife?
Before marriage, yes a lot of times.
So, are you saying categorically that you have never cheated on your wife since you married her?
Categorically, yes for ten years, I have not cheated on my wife.
Who will believe?
I am not saying this for you to believe me, but for you to know what is going on in the Fash-Lanso’s world so that you can learn from it. I am not a saint, but at the same time, there should be decisions about how you want to live your life. You should set a guideline for yourself. I don’t want to do something or anything that will bounce back on my family. So automatically, I am very cautious of what I do, where I go, who I mingle with, where you find me. Of course, I have a lot of friends, but at the same time, there should be a guideline.
So does the guideline state that you should not cheat on your wife?
Yes, after marriage.
Do you also believe your wife has not cheated on you?
I believe so.
What do you mean after marriage, do you mean you cheated on her during engagement and courtship?
After marriage that’s all.
Were you living together after marriage?
No, we weren’t.
What do you do when other women throw themselves at you?
Throw? ‘Women dey throw? I no know oh!’
I mean when they come around you
Oh! I am actor that everybody wants to meet. A house-hold name people want to mingle with. Of course, a lot of my female fans want to meet me, and I treat them the same way. I welcome them; we sit down at times to talk. It is not a big deal to me, because I see them as my great fans who love me for my work and for what I do. I should not have an idea towards that. I shouldn’t get it twisted.
Has a man ever toasted you before?
Ehn! Man? I have not been opportune to be in that kind of situation probably because of my up-bringing. God created Adam and Eve, for Eve to be Adam’s partner. If God wanted a man to be Adam’s partner, he would have ensured that. So for that, I would rather go for women oh.
Are you against same-s*x marriage?
I will not stand against it, but I don’t want to be in that situation. I want to believe that it is a free world. You can do whatever you want to do because I won’t be your judge and you won’t be mine. If you feel that what you are doing is right, go ahead with it. I won’t stop you but if you inner mind is fighting it, then abstain.
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