The University of Gitmo, Department of Social Science, is admitting applicants into its newly introduced course: Guatamology, for the 2016/17 academic year.
Modules under the course are as follows:
1. Guatamanosis – The study of detainees from Guatamano Bay;
2. Guatamigration - the study of how a country opens its doors freely to ex detainees;
3. Guataduology - The study of the first two individuals to arrive in Ghana from Guantanamo Bay;
4. Guatanamcash- The study of money received by a government to host dangerous detainees;
5. Guatalizology – The study of the action of Government to convince its citizens that notoriously dangerous detainees are not harmful;
6. Guatamasychology– The study of how citizens can demand that detainees be sent back due to fear of terrorist attack;
7. Guatadynamics - The objective analysis of similarities and differences between a president and Guantanamo detainees;
8. Guatahunt - The study of predicting which city in a country is most likely to host the most dreaded terrorist suspects
Some technical terms associated with the course:
Guatadeceit / Guatalies- When a Government denies citizens full information about the detainees
Guatahama- When a President decides to defend the reason for bringing in detainees
Guatagoofing- When the Head of Press Info at an Embassy in Ghana goofs in, defending detainees transferred to a country
Guatacompass - A very sophisticated naval compass, capable of detecting the hideout of dangerous detainees at an obtuse angle which is obliquely perpendicular to the sun
1st class honours in Bawumiatrics
or, at least, 2nd Upper in Dumsornomics,
or their equivalent would be an advantage.
Candidates with working knowledge of propaganda are highly encouraged to apply.
But those wishing to further their political fortunes in the November polls are most encouraged.
Deadline for the sale of admission forms is 12th April 2016. Short listed applicants will be taken through interviews by our honorable two detainees doctorate graduates from University of Guantanamo Bay.
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