It takes a lot to be a man in this day and age; and fatherhood is not for the faint-hearted, but for those who would take full responsibility for their wives and kids. Coping with a pregnant wife for nine months can be an experience that one can never forget and the preparedness of the father to have the courage or the boldness to witness the delivery of a child is also important.
The greater responsibility, however, begins when the baby arrives. Below are some of the adjustments fathers would have to make in order to support their wives and take care of their kids.
Having this prior knowledge is essential because fatherhood starts when your baby is in the womb of your wife and both of them require your assistance during pregnancy and after delivery.
Supporting your wife
As a father you must be ready and willing to support your wife. You must offer your wife the help she would need after delivery. It is equally important because delivery by caesarean section, for instance, would require the mother to rest and fully recover before she can actively carry out duties around the house. You should not expect your wife to return to doing all the things she used to do immediately after giving birth.
Honestly carrying a baby for nine months and delivering the baby is hard work. Being a mother myself, I can admit that sometimes, a pregnant woman would endure certain discomforts during pregnancy without disclosing them to a spouse. As a result, if your wife delivers and arrives safely home with your child, kindly support and care for them as a father in the best possible way you can.
For example, you can serve breakfast or cook dinner, you can learn how to change diapers, put the baby to sleep or sing for the baby. It is essential for you to be involved in both the lives of your baby and your wife, especially for the first three months after birth.
If possible, take some time off work and go to the hospital or visit the clinic for immunisation of your baby. It helps you to bond together as a family. Do not leave all the responsibility of taking care of the baby for your wife to handle.
For the purpose of this article, let’s call him Walter. He had this to say regarding supporting his wife; “After witnessing the delivery of my son and the pains my wife Annie had to endure, I supported her each day in any way that I could. God bless women for carrying and delivering our children.”
Sleepless nights
Admittedly, one of the most uncomfortable experiences to have in life is when you feel sleepy and you cannot sleep because a situation or your circumstance does not permit you to do so. As a new father, you would have to sacrifice some of your sleep for the sake of your wife. Your wife would require you to help with caring for the baby whenever you are at home and especially at nights.
Sometimes, the cry of your baby at night would mean you cannot get that sound sleep you have enjoyed all your life, before he or she arrived. There is no need to worry because as the weeks go by and your baby is growing, his or her sleeping pattern would become more regular and stable. However, be rest assured that with your new bundle of joy, your sleep would be affected. Indeed, it is one of the prices you have to pay to be a father; remember everything comes at a cost and fatherhood is not exempted.
A first-time father, let’s call him Derrick, said this, “I hold my baby at night for few hours so that my wife Tricia can have some sleep. It was a bit difficult in the beginning but with time we both got used to the routine. In so doing I felt involved and enjoyed every bit of it, especially lying down with my son sleeping soundly on my chest. I have few selfie pictures of us to show little Daniel when he grows up.”
Managing your finance
The importance of managing the finance of a family can never be downplayed. The arrival of a new-born means spending on many essential things such as baby clothes, diapers and all the necessities the baby would need. Both parents would have to be ready to commit their finances to the well-being of their baby. Depending on the family’s finance, there should be an agreement and understanding on how such expenses would be paid for. Sometimes, disagreements arise when money matters become a problem.
As the man of the house, be rest assured that your finances would be affected, and as such you must be prepared. Let’s call him Reuben. He had this to say concerning how he managed his finances before his baby girl arrived. “I started saving when my wife got pregnant. This really helped me, as I planned for the baby’s expenses in advance. Of course you can never be one hundred per cent ready financially, but saving towards your baby’s arrival helps.”
Managing priorities
Everyone has priorities in life and plans or organises his/her life in order to ensure the accomplishment of these priorities. Sometimes as a father, you would have to relinquish certain priorities that you had before your baby arrived. You never missed a football match, for instance, but in order for your wife to rest or have certain additional household chores done, your support would be needed.
For instance, you may have planned to buy a latest gadget, until your wife mentions that the baby has some urgent needs which must be financed. Do not be quick to complain, but be reminded that your life has changed forever, it is no longer about you anymore.
This is because your latest ‘prince’ or ‘princess’ has needs that should be catered for. Call him Arthur. He explained that “I always made arrangements with my wife before I went out on Saturdays and tried to be home early than I used to before my baby girl was born. I was always excited going home to see my little princess.”
I salute all fathers who have stood by their wives and children, your rewards are in Heaven. To all expectant and future fathers; brace yourselves for the work ahead, but believe that you can be that great and responsible father which God expects you to be. Be an exceptional father and your kids would cherish you forever; a supportive and a loving husband and your wife would always love you.
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