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Nick Cannon seemed to have contemplated suicide ... calling 2020 the most "f***ed up year I've ever witnessed," talking about his friend who he says took his own life, adding, he was in "dark contemplation of continuing my physical existence on this planet," and admiring his friend who "had the balls to do it."

It's an alarming message, but not totally surprising. Nick's been called out from all sides, it seems, this week, after his anti-Semitic comments he made on a podcast, for which he apologized