Where Is The List?

I had the occasion to inform you about an advert which tickled my fancy so much. It was an advert I watched a thousand times without blinking an eye. It’s been almost 24 moons since I made the declaration, and I still maintain my stance; it was the best advert to run on the Asomdwekromanian airwaves in the past decade or more. The advert is no longer being aired, but it has left a lasting impression in my memory. The ‘Me nsa aka oo’ MTN Mobile Money Transfer (MMT) advert is what I refer to. What won me over was the way and manner the woman shouting “Me nsa aka oo, me nsa aka” (I’ve received the cowries) was stopped in her tracks by the boy who asked where the money was. The woman instinctively rushed to the MTN office, collected her cowries, and continued where she left off, “…me nsa aka oo, me nsa aka”- proving the reliability of MTN and its MMT service. With the Asomdwekrom Post Internal Money Transfer saddled with numerous serious challenges which sometimes leaves recipients of cowries stranded for days, I decided to try the MTN-MMT service and I’ve never regretted it. All the cowries I sent through the MTN-MMT service reached the recipients and in good time as well. Such was the reliability of the service! As you may already be aware, the drug menace is one that affects almost every country on the globe. Its effects are so disastrous that no country worth its salt will allow its shores to be used as a transit or destination point. And all persons with conscience will not hesitate to rejoice when drug barons are unveiled and subsequently arrested. As such, my compatriots could not hide their joy when they heard the Executive-Secretary of the Narcotics Control Board (NACOB), Mr. Yaw Akrasi-Sarpong, shouting “Me nsa aka list no oo, me nsa aka”, to wit I’ve found the list. They joined Akrasi-Sarpong and his charges to jubilate until someone asked where the list was. Instead of producing the list, which he claimed contained the names of drug barons and politicians who used drug money to fund their campaign, the NACOB boss shamelessly showed an empty hand, proving how unreliable he and his organization can be. Just listen to him: “I have the list but I will not name any names. I dare them to go to court if they have any problem. My work is not a politician’s work and no politician can force me to mention any names.” Ask me what I think and I would tell you that was totally nebulous and infantile. Of course, no one can force him to mention any names. Who forced him to tell the world that he had a list in the first place? And what is the importance of the list to his compatriots if they do not know its contents? In my tranquil moments, I pondered over the issue and wondered why Akrasi-Sarpong was made the head of NACOB. Was it not to arrest drug dealers and nip their business in the bud? Why then is he barking when the country’s Constitution has given him the teeth to bite? Or is he trying to tell the world that he is a toothless bull-dog? If indeed he has a genuine list, his compatriots do not only expect him to publish it, but also bring the perpetrators to book. We do not pay him with our hard-earned state cowries to talk loosely. Instead, we pay him to act. Akrasi-Sarpong himself knows that barking alone cannot scare the drug barons. Certainly, the only reaction barking can evoke in the drug barons is laughter. Indeed, some of us do have one list or another. I have a list of gay politicians which include, sorry; I won’t say it because I do not want to behave as infantile and irresponsible as the NACOB boss did. But trust me to release the list when I finally get tangible evidence to support it. To lampoon Kwame Pianim, any idiot can open his foul mouth and claim to have a list of drug barons and politicians whose campaigns are financed with drug cowries. But what the country really needs is a NACOB boss who will bite, bite and bite. So my humble advice to him is that we’ve had enough of the barking, we want to see some biting now. Trust me, it’s only in countries like ours that you will find Akrasi-Sarpong and his kind. In countries where governance is taken seriously, this gaffe will be enough grounds for the appointing authorities to give Akrasi-Sarpong a wild kick on the butt. Alas, Akrasi-Sarpong and his kind can continue to inflict their incompetence on this country because the authorities love dancing to cacophonous tunes. We all know where Akrasi-Sarpong’s political allegiance lies. We know he was appointed by the current administration so we are not in the least surprised that he is dancing to the tune being dished out by his political masters. We only wish to remind him to dance cautiously lest he exposes the messy faecal matter stashed in his anus. After all, ashes fly back into the face of him who throws them. The wages of cowardice, they say, is many deaths before the real one; so please BE BOLD and release the list, Mr. NACOB Boss!