Epistle To Dr Boom

Greetings, Papa Jay! It�s with a deep sense of remorse that I send you this note. I hope it reaches you in good health. Indeed, I know you are alive and kicking because I recently saw you on television attending to some pressing issues in Somalia. More grease to your elbows! Surprised, eh? I know you are because it�s an understatement to say I was one of your harshest critics. I would be lying if I said I did not always use the little opportunity to tongue-lash you. But I�m now a changed person because I know better. I now know that most of the accusations against you are figments of some people�s imagination. Even though my compatriots say �forgiveness� is a word not found in your lexicon, I hope you would find a place in your heart to forgive me. I can swear by Antoa Nyamaa that I�m now a changed person. I�m more than willing to undergo chemical interrogation if you still do not believe me. Mr. President, I�ve lost count of the number of times I�ve heard you talk about corruption and mediocre appointees in the government of the very party you founded. Many people, myself inclusive, thought you were expressing those sentiments because your prot�g� had refused to consult you day and night as he promised. We thought you were only manifesting the proverbial sour grapes because the president had refused to be your puppet. Events of the past 12 moons have however proved beyond reasonable doubt that you were only calling a spade by its real name. Many have asked you to support your allegations of corruption against the Agya Ofuntuo government with tangible evidence. With the evidence now staring them in the face, I doubt if they would still say so. I�m very sure you�ve heard about the miraculous mosquito which hatched blocks and built two mansions within 24 moons. I do believe also that you are privy to how prices of school buildings are being inflated and the difference used in lining the pockets of the greedy bastards. Your Excellency, you did hit the nail right on the head when you called them �greedy bastards�. Their greediness has eaten into their heads so much that they�ve lost all sense of shame. They eat with both hands and shamelessly tell the hungry bloke it is a �better Asomdwekrom�. They squander the nation�s precious cowries on hampers and pampers, while the masses struggle to survive. You and your wife are very justified in your crusade to take back your party and rid it of the greedy elements who have no respect for truth, probity, accountability and integrity- the very pillars on which your party was built. Your wife failed to achieve that feat in Sunyani, but there is no denying the fact that she sent shivers down the spines of the president and his cohort. Talking about the Sunyani congress brings to mind the infamous 90m tape. Is it true that the story of the existence of the tape is not a Kwaku Ananse tale? If yes, why don�t you give your compatriots also the opportunity to have a feel of its contents? Believe me, that is a better option than listening to it alone in your bedroom. The news making the rounds in Asomdwekrom is that the president has become so unpopular that he has resorted to desperate measures to correct the flaw. There is an administrative directive that the president�s portrait be placed in all basic schools across the length and breadth of the country. This is no joke, Mr. President. It is all part of the �better Asomdwekrom� agenda. It is said that there is no honour among thieves. Your �boy� Martin Amidu has however defied the truism in the saying by being the odd one among the greedy bastards. Event at the risk of losing his job and the perks that go with it, he pledged to uphold, preserve, protect and defend the country�s constitution by fighting �gargantuan crimes� against the people of this country. He eventually lost his job but the whole world now knows that there was at least one man of integrity among the greedy bastards. That Agya Ofuntuo has messed up almost everything he inherited from the Gentle Giant is a fact no objective person can deny. It is therefore understandable if you feel betrayed by the very man you picked from obscurity and mentored to become president. But there are those who say you, and no one else, are to blame for all the mess. They say the one to blame for the havoc the snake caused is the man who let it into the garden. Don�t you think it�s a legitimate point to make? By the way, is it true your wife has plans of contesting the president in the 2012 polls as an independent candidate? Do you sincerely believe she can make any meaningful impact, or it is only a scheme to pour sand in Agya Ofuntuo�s gari? Hmm! Wonders shall never end! Mr. President, the title �Agye wodin� bestowed on you by Otumfuo Osei Tutu II is seriously under threat. Courtesy of the �woyomization� of the state, it is becoming increasingly clear that Alfred Agbesi Woyome would sooner than later wrestle the title away from you. It is the reason I cannot wait for your June 4 speech. I know my compatriots would call it another �boom� speech. And why not? A speech that unravels the truth would definitely rattle nerves and sometimes cause a tsunami. The only song that comes to mind as I eagerly await your June 4 speech is your famous composition, �Gadindim- Gadem, Gadindim- Gadem.� Bonjour, Monsieur Boom!