The conversation over what role men and women play in a marriage is really heating up in Nigeria with some ideas being thrown around.
A day after a married woman floated the idea of wives allowing their men to have side chicks to take care of them if their wives are too busy to do so, a Nollywood actress has weighed in with her own thoughts.
According to Ronke Oshodi, the strictly assigned gender roles in marriage are changing based on changes in society.
In the past, women stayed home to take care of their husband by cooking, cleaning and the likes, whilst the man goes out to make money for the family.
In that instance, she argues it’s reasonable for a man to have total control over the wife.
These days however, couples share the financial burden and even sometimes, the woman takes it over. In that instance, Oshodi argues that it’s unreasonable to expect the woman to go out and work and then come back and cook for you and generally be submissive to you.
“…I would bring 50 (% of household income), the man would bring 50 or I would bring 70 the man would bring 30 or he would bring 70, I would bring 30 because we have to work hand in hand. So how do you think we can sustain the marriage [if I have to be submissive?] It is not going to work. It is not because we don’t want to really be in our husband’s house or that we are not submissive enough, it is not just going to work.” she said.
“I am going to pay the NEPA bill, I would provide foodstuff if you don’t have, I would pay the school fees if you don’t have, I would do some certain things if you don’t have. And then you would now come and expect me to cook for you or come and meet food when you come back home, it is not going to work. It is not just going to work. That is just it.”
“But if you are a man and you are doing everything, absolutely everything, that is when you can have total control of your wife” she concluded.
Source: Ghanacelebrities.com
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I know some people will defo have issues with what this woman has said. Now, let's call a spade for what it actually is. If a man isn't stepping up to the plate by providing for the family and the woman is, what's wrong with him also doing his bit to earn his keep? If she's has to work they whole day and come home exhausted while the man is at home, what's wrong with him looking after the home? Eiii... when the shoe is on the other foot, ie, when the men are the ones going to work and paying the bills, and God forbid the woman is a homemaker, the insults and the abuse they rain on these women are unprintable. So there's actually nothing wrong with a man also doing his bit for the home. He would expect the same from the woman if the roles were reversed. The male chauvinist should give us a break.
***barred word***,cos you help with your family upkeep you can't be submissive to your husband?. What at all are we learning from these so called civilized people as Africans. This insanity is not part of us African women.
This woman is not in her right sens3s and is talking with pride, if u close work and come home first then u have to do the cooking cos both ur husband and kids must eat and u can prepare ur soup and stew during the weekends and put in the fridge so that if ur husband also gets home before u at least he can also cook rice or yam to add up to de stew and feed the kids too. marital happiness is not automatic, the perfect marriage is one that is made up of two imperfect people who are held together by a perfect savior so know that u are not married to an angel and don't expect things to be 100% always. when u enjoy the sweet part of it be ready to enjoy the bitter part too when it comes
True. At the end of the day women are not lessor human beings. We were not born to slave ourselves for men.